How to Make a Big Decision From a Christian Lens
We each make hundreds of decisions daily. Some of them are small, based mostly out of habit, but occasionally we find ourselves weighing a decision of significance.
This article is focused on the latter; for instance, they’re important decisions about vocation, location, and education.
You may be contemplating one of the following questions, each of which has major financial implications:
To where should our family relocate, if at all?
To which vocation is God calling me?
Is this a good time to stop renting and buy a house? If so, what’s the optimal location?
Which education option is best for my child: public, private, or homeschool?
The list is endless. On a deep level, this decision could impact the trajectory of your family for many years.
When Contemplating Relocation
Let’s examine the first question on moving in detail. In fact, it’s a decision my family recently made. Here’s a bit of context:
My husband, Bryan, was born and raised in a suburb of St. Louis, MO. We met after college and started our family in another suburb of St. Louis. We sent our boys to private grade school and loved our church community.
Our relocation, from Missouri to Florida, at Christmas 2019 happened for a few reasons.
First, my parents lived in Florida, and my mom’s lingering health concerns were a constant source of anxiety.
Secondly, family issues left me and Bryan wanting to hit the “reset” button; we needed a fresh chance to start over.
Finally, up until St. Louis, I hadn’t lived in a place for more than eight years. I spent nineteen years in St. Louis and yearned to see another part of the U.S.
We were happy with our decision…at first. Then the global pandemic hit. Despite living a short distance from my parents, I never felt comfortable hugging my parents until the vaccine was available.
I had no friends here and neither did my children. Although we bonded well as a family, it was difficult to form new friendships. The methods of our sons’ new charter school, a publicly-funded school with project-based learning, varied significantly from the private school they previously attended.
We began to wonder late last year if we made a mistake coming to Florida. We even hired a realtor in St. Louis and put multiple offers -- over asking price -- on homes that were rejected. The same private school didn’t have room for our youngest son if we returned this fall.
In retrospect, we should have taken these as signs to stay in Florida.
'And I will place on his shoulder the key of the house of David. He shall open, and none shall shut; and he shall shut, and none shall open.'
In trying to move back to Missouri so quickly, we were attempting to open a door that was already shut. I’m a devout follower of Christ with a rich spiritual life, and yet I couldn’t decipher clear signs from the Holy Spirit. I was so focused on what we were missing in Missouri that I failed to appreciate the beauty of Florida.
Seek Wisdom
In your own decision-making journey, be evident of signals guiding the path. Is the Lord opening doors or closing doors as you contemplate this big decision?
'I know your works. Behold, I have set before you an open door, which no one is able to shut. I know that you have but little power, and yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name.'
On a practical level, Andy Stanley recently published the book Better Decisions, Fewer Regrets. Stanley provides five thought-provoking questions to ask every time you make a decision of significance.
He centers the questions on integrity, legacy, conscience, maturity and relationships. My favorite question centers on maturity: What is the wise thing to do?
'If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.'
Stanley is right on point as he says, “the point of regret is always preceded by a series of unwise decisions.”
Do you ever wish you could turn back the clock and make a different decision?
I certainly do. Unfortunately, that is not the way it works. We cannot influence past decisions, but we can proactively make decisions today that will positively impact our future.
Incorporate Diverse Perspectives and Family Values
Episode 216 of the Famous at Home podcast dissects “Making Big Decisions for your Family.” There were several great takeaways, but two stood out to me the most:
Understand that you will view a decision from diverse perspectives.
Let family vision and values guide the way.
If you are married, you know that you and your spouse are not identical. We’re created in the image and likeness of God, but each of us possesses unique talents that cannot be replicated by another human being. Even identical twins growing up in the same household will view events differently.
My husband Bryan and I can look at the same situation and analyze it from opposing perspectives, even after fourteen years of marriage. He prefers the status quo most of the time, and I like to change things if I feel they aren’t working well. I’m more prone to perfectionism and find it hard to stay satisfied for very long. Bryan finds contentment rather easily.
Recognize in any major decision that your spouse may not share a similar level of enthusiasm as you. It might take time for him or her to see the opportunity from your perspective.
Compromise is essential for this reason. If you are contemplating a move out-of-state, perhaps you can set an arbitrary deadline (i.e. 2 years) to re-evaluate if it makes sense to return back to your original location.
Another component to effective decision-making is incorporating your family vision and values. Common Christian values include humility, grace, gratitude, hope, faith, love, trust, compassion, and service. Other common values, not specific to Christianity, include: simplicity, honesty, responsibility, tolerance, patience, courage, and generosity.
Need extra assistance in identifying your family values? Read this related WorthyNest® article, “Values as a Foundation for Success.” Next, incorporate family values into a one-sentence vision statement that describes who you want to be as a family.
Find Wise Counsel
Do you prefer a more detailed model for sound decision-making? Most major decisions have financial implications, and you don’t have to make the decision alone.
Ron Blue’s curriculum for the Certified Kingdom Advisor™ (CKA®) program walks through a decision-making process that is ten steps, the first of which is prayer.
Each member of Christian Financial Advisors Network is either a CKA® or in the process of becoming a CKA® professional, so we’re intimately familiar with these principles. We’re also fee-only fiduciaries who always have our clients’ best interest at heart. The transparency of our fee structure -- no commissions or hidden fees -- allows us to provide objective advice.
Although my firm WorthyNest® exclusively works with clients on an ongoing basis to provide holistic financial planning and investment advice, the other three Christian Financial Advisor Network members offer hourly or one-time project arrangements.
This limited scope engagement with a Christian financial advisor could be the missing piece to make a thoughtful, wise decision in alignment with family values. Reach out to one of us today!
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